I feel much better these days. I am so glad to know that how I feel depends solely on my thoughts. I’m learning to train my thoughts to get me out of any slump. It really works.
I know the universe has some exciting things in store for me. I look forward to my future.
Until next time, take care.

This week I had my regular phone consultation with my homeopathic doctor, Dr. David. I usually look forward to these appts because it seemed as though he and my naturopathic doctor are the only doctors who believe in what I am trying to do. I was totally caught off guard when he said that maybe it wasn’t possible for my kidneys to heal. If it was liver it might be possible but not the kidney.

At one time my mainstream specialists told me that also and I was very upset. When I told Dr. David about that comment he asked if I was going to let them decide my destiny. I am so confused as to his comments now. I also feel very bad because I needed that support. Anyway, I told him that it would be good to have my example of healed kidneys to use for other patients. I don’t see it as my job for me to reassure him but I guess I needed to hear that as much as he did.

It is crazy how I just can’t doubt this process. It’s as though I have some kind of knowing that I will some day be living a life free of dis-ease. So I move forward the best I can. I told Dr .David that I felt it was time to try something new. Something to give my body a bit of a jump start because things were stagnating and there had been no change for awhile. He is sending me another remedy to go along with the one I’m taking now. It might help.

Tonight I watched the Larry King show on NBC channel. His guest was Tony Robbins, a motivational life coach who helps people get there lives back in order. I’m going to look for his books in the hopes of discovering another avenue I haven’t tapped into yet.

I’m making an appt with a naturopathic kidney specialist in Vancouver. I have to finish filling out a form about my health history and then he and I will talk. I’m looking forward to that. The universe provides the people needed as I’m ready. I’m very grateful.

Until next time, take care.

Sorry it's been so long!

Happy Canada Day everyone!

I haven’t written in awhile because I thought I had nothing to write about. Is that what they call, “writer’s block”? I think it is more a case of fear. I have a very hard time sharing my feelings and thoughts. If I can’t find something else to talk about then I would rather just listen. There is always somebody who is more than happy to talk about themselves! Anyway, recently something happened and I have decided to share the experience with you. As uncomfortable as I am, I’m thinking it will be good for my health to learn how to do this. It will be like exorcizing the negativity in my life.

I have a vision board on the wall in my bedroom and as writing a book is part of my vision, I have a copy of my book sitting right by my computer. I have put a mockup of a book jacket on a book so that it looks like I wrote the book. This cover has my picture on it, a title and it says by “Best Selling Author” Mary Dancey.

One of my friends stopped by and when she saw that book she picked it up and burst out laughing. She laughed very hard and loud and said, “Yaw, right Mare!” She was ridiculing my vision! My response was to tell her she will be laughing out of the other side of her face when I’m living high from the money I make from my best seller!

I was very disappointed in her reaction. Since I’ve been sick, I have found that some of the people I was calling a friend don’t have my best interest in mind. It seems they want to be my friend as long as I don’t grow past them. They try to pull me back down when they can. I see that some of my people want to learn and grow with me but I have also learned that I won’t be able to take all my old people with me on my journey of healing.

That makes me sad at times but I now can look at it in a different way. Their reaction to me isn’t personal, it isn’t even about me. It is about them and their own fears to deal with or to live with. I see that I’m attracting new people to me, people who are very positive and far more supportive than a lot of people who I’ve known a long time. I have decided that my experience as Mary, will be exciting and prosperous from now on. I’m anxious to meet the new positive people that I’ll attract along the way. I am ready to let go of the others with the hopes that they some day realize that our experience on this earth is a choice we make. I will stop resisting this shift and embrace the changes I’m about to make.

Until next time, take care.

I had a bad night last night because I spent most of the night with my head in the toilet throwing up. I am so exhausted today. I’ll spend the day on the couch watching the cooking channel. Even though the chefs make all their food look so good, today, I’ll limit my dining to cream of chicken soup and toast while I gather ideas for my renal cook book. Can’t waste a day on the couch!
During these episodes I’m reminded of how sick I am and that I have a long way to go yet. I try not to get discouraged even though it’s difficult not to. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Be grateful for your health.
Until next time, take care. MD

I had the privilege of going snowmobiling with my husband on the weekend. We hauled our sleds to the Hudson Bay area. Riding the trails in the parkland forest is one of my favorite things to do. Surrounding my self with nature is good for healing. I like to stop the sled and sit with my eyes closed listening to the sounds of the forest and allow a greater power to flow through me to help mend my body. I highly recommend getting closer to nature as part of a healing process. It is medicine that really works. Why not make it part of your living process? It is good for the soul. I’m learning that when we learn to feed our soul instead of our ego every thing else will fall into place.
Until next time, take care.

The 2010 winter Olympics ended on the weekend. It was an amazing display of hard work and determination. The athletes, organizers, media, staff, and volunteers did such a great job of entertaining us for the past two weeks. Some athletes had a dream of just getting to the Olympics and others dreamt of winning gold while there. The organizers were looking to wow us with an opening ceremony like no other. We watched the different networks share the responsibility of getting the information to us. The front people were supported by a variety of background workers and volunteers who remained nameless but were diligent with their duties. Each of these people involved have a personal vision for themselves and make the choices necessary to bring that vision to a reality.
Watching the Olympics from my living room I took so much from this event to use as an inspiration. For instance one of the announcers was from my local area and there she was sports commentating at the Olympics for one of the big networks! A small town Saskatchewan girl making it big in what was once considered a man’s domain. I’m sure she had to overcome many hurdles to realize her vision but obviously didn’t let those things stop her.
Although I was encouraged by so much during the Olympics, the athletes were my biggest inspiration. As I heal my body, make it do something that mainstream doctors say it can’t, I watched the games of strength and noticed how these people went beyond the norm. They pushed their bodies to the limit making it do things that some might say was impossible. They overcame all kinds of injuries and health issues to get to that podium. They overcame adversity and rose above. To me they opened their minds to infinite possibilities and were able to realize their ultimate goal. I feel as though they have gone beyond logic and learned to create miracles in their everyday lives.
The theme song for the Olympics was “I Believe”. Because the athletes were able to see it, they could believe it. I now know that if we truly believe it, we will see it. This knowledge has helped me to open my own mind to infinite possibilities. Remember that people used to think the earth was flat. They believed it because that is what they were told. Until one day one person didn’t believe it. He believed the earth was round. He truly believed it and therefore was the first one to see it. Walking on the moon was something people had at one time thought was impossible until one day someone believed different. We see these miracles manifest into reality all the time.
There are so many examples of miracles in our lives. Somebody allowed their mind to open to a possibility and was able to make “a miracle” happen in their life. They attracted the people and experiences necessary to help bring the dream into a reality.
I believe. Do you?
Until next time, take care. MD

On Tuesday I got a call from my specialist’s nurse telling me that the tests of the other day were wrong. She said that things got mixed up at the lab and that wasn’t even my blood they were testing!!! Imagine!!! I could hardly believe it. Have you ever let the air out of a balloon and watched it sputter around the room until it comes to rest on the floor totally deflated. That was me the day she called to tell me of the mistake. I was totally deflated. I had been so excited on the weekend and spent quite a bit of time thinking about the best way to go off dialysis. I was remembering what it was like to live without this tube in my gut and having to do treatments four times a day. My mind raced with anticipation. I would be able to wear normal clothes again. I could bend again. I could do yard work and not worry about the weight of the stones for my flower bed wall. Larry wouldn’t have to give me this dreaded needle every two weeks. Maybe I could get a decent job again. So many things for me to consider. It was such a let down to get that last call. I felt as though the wind had been let out of me. I sat down; totally speechless for a second.
In the old days I would have said something like, “Oh that’s too bad. See you next month.” I would then have spent a lot of time fretting about it and being mad but not letting on that I was mad, holding it in, letting the dis-ease build. In my healing frame of mind I now deal with things as they come up. As I’m learning from my study of nature - ruffle the feathers and swim away!
I made sure the nurse knew I was not happy about this. Keeping in mind that it wasn’t her mistake and I didn’t want to kill the messenger, I made sure to stick to the point but let my dissatisfaction show. Firm but not mean. It felt good to stand up for myself. I then sat down and had a good cry. It wasn’t time for me to heal. I still had more work to do to restore the balance in my life.
After a few hours of feeling sorry for myself I was able to see the positives in the situation and move on from the negative. Their mistake has nothing to do with me. I will continue to move foreword in the direction of healing, learning how to live my life with ease. I enjoyed the weekend preparing for kidney restoration. I think I’ll stay in that mind set knowing the day will come for my vision to become a reality.
Until next time, take care. MD

I just got back from the lab, carrying with me a big orange jug with my 24 hour urine sample. A very grumpy nurse took blood out of my arm while I was there. As she was sticking me with her needle, with a scowling expression on her pasty face, I wondered who shit in her cereal! At least she had cereal. I hadn’t had anything to eat yet. Plus, I was the one sitting in the torture chair with a rubber strip cinched tightly around my upper arm. I think the least she could do is smile at me.
I don’t get results of these tests until Tuesday. I feel sick to my stomach. Receiving such good news on Wednesday from my blood work, reminds me how bad I want this. I’m scared of what the new tests will show. The waiting is torture. Today I’m having a hard time thinking positive. It is taking a lot of effort to not let the doubt creep in. Fear is a powerful emotion.
I’m going snowshoeing with my dog. Larry said he wants to come with us. Getting into nature always helps to keep my thoughts going in the right direction. Today is my Mom’s birthday. I can feel her spirit close by. She makes a really good guardian angel. I know she is sending out positive energy vibrations. I need all the support I can get.
Until next time, take care. MD

I have had amazing results from my blood tests this week. My creatinine is testing normal! Creatinine is the measure of toxins in the blood which shows how well the kidneys are functioning if at all. This is the day I’ve been working for but now that it’s here I don’t even know how to respond. It feels surreal; a bit of an out of body experience. The doctors want to do more tests on Monday. They will decide how to proceed after seeing the results of those tests. I’ll be holding my breath until I get those results.
Until next time, take care. MD

I haven’t written anything in awhile because I’ve been away. My husband had to work some trade shows and so I went along. We were in Vegas and Orlando. Tough job but somebody has to do it!

Going to Vegas is like going to the moon… another world. I definitely felt like an alien in that environment. I played the machines; waiting for the feeling of gratification that was evident on so many players’ faces. Put the money in, press the button and wait for 3 bunches of bananas to line up. No, nothing. This time I’ll pull the lever to change my luck. No. Still those bananas just won’t line up! I keep trying. My neighbor’s eyes have glossed over and his machine is making all kinds of noises. His bunch of bananas is cooperating. Keep trying Mary. It’s only a matter of time. I spin again. There it is... one, two, and can it be? Yesssss!!! Three bunches of bananas all in a row. I just won 50 cents. It only cost me ten bucks, although I soon learned that we don’t talk about what that 50 cents cost us. We cash out. Tell people we won 50 cents. Move on to another machine.

When in Vegas you can spend your day playing these mindless games but only talk about what you won. Do not refer to what that “win” has cost. I guess I’m not cut out to be a gambler. The machines and tables hold no allure for me.

Now shopping in Vegas is another story! There is an endless selection of stores to fit all tastes and budgets. The one thing they all have in common is the service. Wow! You can’t walk in a store without being acknowledged by the staff. Not only do they know their product but they make you feel as though they appreciate your business. They have a knack of making you feel important to them. I think all business owners in these small towns should go there to take some lessons on how to “win” a customer base. They don’t whine that people aren’t shopping there. They make it their business to get the consumer traffic into their door and to sell them something while they are there; making you feel as though you really need it. They aren’t leaving anything to chance. I guess that’s what having competition does for a business. They have learned to take control of their bananas!

All in all, the trip was a real positive for me. I had no trouble with security at the airports. My energy held out. My dialysis supplies were delivered to the hotels as promised. I was able to do my treatments with ease. It was a boost to my confidence and my moral. This was another big step in my healing process. I’m so grateful that my good health allows me to travel.

Until next time, take care. MD

Something I often think about is how we humans put our fate into some one else’s hands. Most people expect mainstream medicine to fix us with surgeries and prescriptions. Those things work for the time being. As soon as we feel better we move on with our lives with only a few small changes. The next time a problem crops up we trot back to the doctor’s office for more pills which usually get us feeling fairly decent again until the next time. Round and round we go until they can’t fix us anymore. And then we blame their lack of knowledge or concern for our demise.

What if we took control of our own fate? Is there something we can do to improve our health before we get sick? Or, if we get sick, then maybe there are things we can do to improve our situation. What would happen if we took responsibility for where our life is at? How does it feel to know that every ache and pain is a result of choices we’ve made; the relationships in our life, good or bad, are consequences of our own decisions or that the job we love or hate is because of our choices?

Doesn’t that put a new perspective on things? Looking at my life like that helps me to realize that I brought my kidney failure on myself. It also helps me to realize that there are things I can do to improve my situation. Naturopathic doctors believe all disease comes from a place. They are helping me look for that place and then start the healing process from there. This is working very well for me. I have more courage than I ever had before. I can distance myself, and in some cases, completely removed myself from the relationships that were unhealthy for me. I was able to walk away from a job that was a very poisonous environment. I am eating different than I used to. It is such a feeling of power to make these choices, to know that there is so much I can do to make my life better. My health is improving daily from a direct result of the new choices I am making.

I know there are a lot of people who don’t want to believe this. They have lived their lives blaming others and like putting their life circumstances onto some one else’s shoulders. I wonder how our health would improve if we realized the impact a simple choice makes on our lives? What if we worked really hard to heal before we are on our death bed? There are so many things to discover about the power our mind has over our health. I believe it has far more control than we think. It is a lot of hard work but dying doesn’t look so easy either.

Put your self through a little test. The next time you feel that you have a cold coming on, tell yourself how good you feel. When you usually say, “I think I’m coming down with a cold.” Instead say, “I feel so good today.” Keep telling your self that throughout the day and see what happens. I can’t wait to hear the results. Let me know.

Until next time, take care. MD

Doctor Doctor Part 2
While I was in the hospital I read a book called “The Secret”. This is when the reality of how the choices we make in life have a direct impact on our health, wealth and our general well being, really hit home. Reading this book also helped me realize that I could change the direction my life was taking just by my making different choices. I needed to learn how to believe it was possible. That has been my focus since I came home from the hospital. I kept reading the books that would help me with that. I practiced the lessons suggested amongst the pages. My health slowly returned. I was becoming a much stronger person, in body, and in mind and soul.
Months later, I felt I had done as much as I could do on my own. I felt I needed more help than what the books could offer. I thought that a naturopathic doctor might be a benefit to me. I looked in the yellow pages for such clinics and phoned some of the numbers listed. I didn’t get good vibes from the first few people I talked too so I just kept trying. Eventually I reached one where the voice on the other end sounded right to me. This clinic had a naturopathic doctor, who I will call Dr. Lucy. Beware of the quacks! A naturopathic doctor receives a minimum of 8 years post-secondary education. This training includes the study of medical sciences comparable to that of a general practitioner. They are also well versed in many alternative treatments. I felt I would be in good hands.
This doctor immediately set me up to talk to a naturopathic specialist in Israel, who I will call Dr. David. He and I talked on Skype for almost four hours! Very intense. Afterwards I was exhausted but felt very strongly that this was the right way for me to go. He decided on a remedy for me. We now talk on the phone about every six weeks.
At the same time Dr. Lucy started giving me Bowen Therapy treatments. I responded very well to this hands on treatment. She also has me working with her nutritionist, who I will call Lois. Lois is helping me eat for my metabolic type.
I am having great success with the help offered at this clinic. Naturopathic doctors support the body’s ability to heal itself. They take into account the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of the patient when diagnosing and developing a treatment plan. I was so happy to find professionals who believed in the healing and would nourish it in me.
I made sure my specialists at the hospital, who I see every three months, know that I am going to this clinic. I don’t take anything until I check with them. The pharmacist at the hospital is the one who investigates ingredients of what the naturopathic recommends. She reports her findings to me suggesting why some things won’t work for people with kidney failure and why some things will be all right for me to take. My main specialist has said my naturopathic doctor can call him any time if she has questions.
I am so grateful that these professionals have agreed to communicate with each other with my best interests in mind. At this point, I feel that the doctors from the mainstream medicine are just humoring me. I know they think healing is not an option. In spite of that they advise as I go. They and my naturopathic doctors are finding a balance between two very different sciences. I’m confidant I have the best of both worlds helping me on my road to recovery.
Until next time, take care. MD

Doctor, Doctor Part One
You should know about my doctors…I have many.
I first came in contact with the nephrologists on May of ’07. After weeks of trying to find out why I was so sick my family doctor sent me to the hospital in an emergency situation. At this point I was not able to keep food down and was very week. My doctor had done a lot of tests but always got negative results. He kept testing with no luck. I got sicker. Finally something suspicious showed itself in one of my blood tests. My potassium was sky high which was a sign of kidney trouble but also was at the danger level for heart failure.
The specialists were as puzzled as my family doctor. They knew my kidneys had failed but they didn’t know why. They put me on emergency dialysis while they ran more tests. Their test results were also coming back negative. They finally did a kidney biopsy and those results showed I had P-Anca Vasculitis which was now dormant but had left enough scar tissue that my kidneys were no longer functioning. Their diagnosis was that my kidneys wouldn’t heal.
When I first got to the hospital they were poking and prodding all over the place! They kept telling me how sick I was. One of the emergency doctors leaned in close to me to tell me that they were testing for things like leukemia and lupus. How is it when you are sick, people need to get in your face to talk to you as though you have lost your hearing? Do they think their news has greater impact if you can smell their breath when they break it to you? If the diagnosis doesn’t bring tears to your eyes, the fact that they had garlic for lunch surely will!
In spite of that I was grateful for all the experts who were diligent about helping me survive. Eventually I was sent to the dialysis unit. I soon came to realize that I was in the best of hands and I surrendered myself to the nurses and doctors who knew so much about dialysis and the kidneys. Everything they did made me feel better. Not only did they look after me they were also concerned about Larry and the kids. We all felt safe in their hands.
The thing that stands out to me is that while they all were working so hard to make me feel better, they were constantly reminding me how sick I was. “You are very sick, Mrs. Dancey.” “You are a very sick person.” “Your kidneys won’t heal. You might as well face it.” “You should get a transplant.”
Those words met on deaf ears. Wait a second… maybe they had good reason to think I was deaf. Still, that is no excuse for all that garlic at lunch!
I choose to ignore the dialogue of what others think my body is capable of. I will focus on healing. I’m willing do anything to make that happen. I believe our bodies are capable of great things if we open our minds to the endless possibilities. I’m excited about this experience and the people that kidney failure has brought into my life. I look forward to learning how to have a future of good health and good wealth. I’m grateful you are allowing me to share my discoveries with you.
Until next time, take care. MD

I’m going on a trip! Larry will be working some trade shows in early Feb and I’ve decided to go with him. We’ll be in Vegas for a week and Orlando for another week.
He’ll be working while I play. Sounds good to me!
This will be my first time traveling while on dialysis. My solutions will be delivered to the hotels by my supplier so I don’t have to worry about getting that across the border. I have other things to consider. I have to take along an emergency kit that contains antibiotics, heparin and needles. Those things can be in my check on bag with a letter from the doctor so it should be OK. What concerns me is the tube in my stomach that is used for my treatments. This tube was surgically inserted so there is no checking it with my luggage. It’s coming with me. I’m told it will show up on their x-ray machines. “Honest officer that is for my treatments!” I could be writing this from the slammer. Curable from within could mean: “From within the system!”
Until next time, take care. MD

Thanks for the feedback from yesterday’s blog. The caller agreed that not all relationships are healthy. We discussed the difficulty of that realization. It is not easy.
In my case my life depends on learning to live my life with ease. I must create a healing environment for myself.
I believe everything we do in life is a choice. The choices I’ve made in the past have brought me to where I am today. As I earn my way out of this dis-ease I will learn to make the choices needed to bring peace and posterity into my life. I can heal anything by healing my beliefs first. I deserve it.
I’m glad this is helping some one out there. Stay strong. You too can make the choices needed to live the life you were meant to live. You deserve it. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. The Tao Te Ching reinforces it with this famous line: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
Until next time, take care. MD

I’ve learned that we have more control over disease than I thought. I started thinking of it as dis-ease as suggested in some of the books I’m reading, and I realize that to earn my way out of kidney failure, I need to learn how to get from dis-ease to ease. This is no small task!
My homeopathic doctor, Dr. David, tells me not to let others decide my destiny. I need to take control of my own destiny. With that in mind, I’m using my gut as my guide. If a situation makes my stomach tighten and I feel a bit nauseous I know it is wrong for me. I then need to handle it in a way that eases the knot in my stomach.
I am finally at the stage of my healing where I can usually deal with it on the spot. I still have my setbacks although they are getting fewer and farther between. I believe that is because I have removed myself or distanced myself from most of the people who don’t fill me up. You know the ones who do their best to suck the life out of you when they get a chance. The ones who know your weak spots and aren’t afraid to use them to push your buttons. The ones who want to drag you down with negativity. This can be friends, family or co-workers. Some times you can even feel the negativity oozing from a total stranger! I for sure stay clear of those.
Becoming aware of these people can be a hard reality. It sometimes means walking away from those you care about. I’ve learned that even people you care for are not always good for your health. Be aware of the ones who can’t look at their own short comings and continue to look outward. Be prepared for your name to be drug through the mud when you attempt to break the pattern. It takes a great amount of will power to stick to your resolve. Imagine how powerful the human race would if each of us took total responsibility for our own happiness!
I’ve also noticed that some recognize the difference in me and are trying to meet me half way, both of us looking for a balance instead of forcing our wills on each other. I love that about them and will do my best to meet them half way.
The only thing I know for sure is that to live with ease I must follow my gut and not let the opinion of others define me. Whether or not someone disagrees or agrees with me has nothing to do with me. What they say about me, good or bad, has nothing to do with me. The barbs and put downs are not my concern. I need to learn how to believe that. I must get to the point of never having the sick feeling in my gut. Live without dis-ease and live with ease!
Until next time, take care. MD

I finally took down the Christmas tree. That always feels like such a letdown. Christmas season is over. It is my favorite season by far and I already look forward to next years festivities. The kids love it too which makes all the planning, cooking and decorating so worth while.
2009 was a good year but I’m looking forward to 2010. I think it will be a very successful year. I feel the universe conspiring in my favor.
Until next time, take care.

We took our daughter to the airport yesterday. She as well as our other two kids was home for Christmas. The three of them arrived at the same time, filling the house with excitement, stories of their worlds and lots of stuff! They left one at a time. With each departure the house seems a bit bigger. Yesterday the last one left and today the house feels huge and soooo quiet! I’ve got the stereo on to help fill the space. It doesn’t measure up to the kids chatter and laughter but it is a good background for the memories we created this Christmas.

Every time I’m around the kids I’m reminded of the courageous choices they make in their lives. This is always an inspiration to me and an incentive to do my best as a mom of adult kids. We are never done teaching them and no matter how old we get, we never stop watching our parents, learning from how they handle situations. I read somewhere that kids can’t move forward if their parents don’t. That has stuck with me over the years. I use it as incentive to keep growing. Not let fear stand in my way. Not let adversity define me. Right now my situation is that I have had kidney failure and my health is compromised. I have stopped resisting this and accepted the reality of it. I’ve decided to use this as an opportunity and a teacher. Learn the lesson from it and eventually work my way out of it. I’ll be a stronger more aware person for it.

Until next time, take care. MD

My first day on the blog!

At the age of 50 I got very sick. After much testing they discovered I have something called P-Ancu Vasculitis. It is quite rare. Doctors don't know much about it. They don't know what causes it or if or when it will show itself again. They do know that it attacks the organs, with a special attraction to the kidneys. This sneaky disease is dormant right now but has scarred my kidneys to the point of no function. The doctors say that scar tissue won't heal. My treatment right now is peritoneal dialysis. The nephrologists (kidney specialists) say that I should look at a transplant as the next treatment

In my mind that is just a band-aid. It doesn't look at me and address why I got sick to start with. Have you noticed how one disease always leads to another in time? Science has the knowledge to fix a lot of things as they come along but doesn't address why we get sick in the first place. For me I wanted to look at the why of it. How did this manifest itself in my body? What can I do to avoid any more health trouble? What can I do to enjoy good health in the future?

I have decided to take control of my own destiny and focus on healing. It is really working for me! I have regained %15 kidney function to date. This will increase in time. My goal with this blog is to tell you about my healing. Hopefully my story will help some one else out there who is faced with this same challenge. You can do it!

I look forward to hearing your story and sharing mine with you as it unfolds. I'll talk to you again soon. Until then, take care. MD